Tag Archives: yoga

I Can Do It “By My Own”

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He is, indeed, doing it "By My Own"... nothing a hose couldn't take care of after!

He is, indeed, doing it “By My Own”… nothing a hose couldn’t take care of after!

“By My Own…”  This is a phrase that Henry used regularly when he was a little guy.  He couldn’t quite get the phraseology right…  I would patiently remind him that it’s, “I can do it on my own,” or the ever popular, “I can do it by myself.”  But I’ve gotten used to the By My Own phrase – because he still uses it.

Towards the end of his last semester, he was required to pick his courses for semester 2, all while studying for exams for semester 1.  Was he stressed?  Uh – yeah!!  He is registered with the Center for Students with Disabilities and has an advisor.  As well, we connected with his guidance counsellor so that he could discuss his options.  So – courses were picked, he studied and wrote his exams.

Fast forward to his return to school.  His first week back, he attended one of the selected courses, Chemistry, and decided he didn’t like the class (or the prof, or the vibe or whatever…)  So he wanted to drop the course to lighten his load – given that he’s taking two math courses this semester (and math is always a challenge) – this would give him more time to work on math.  Great idea…  But let’s meet with your guidance counsellor or disability advisor first just to make sure we’re making the right move.  He agreed.  And then could not get a meeting fast enough before his next Chemistry class to drop the course.  Anxiety and a sense of urgency (on his part) started to set in.

But here’s the thing…  Certainly, there are many things that we can all do on our own – but we don’t have to.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help.

On Wednesday morning, my lower back spasmed while doing a yoga pose.  And you can bet that I didn’t hesitate to ask for help and call in the professionals as soon as I got home!!  But it took me a long time to learn this lesson – it’s NOT a sign of weakness to ask for help!!!  For a 2-3 year period when I was looking for a school for Henry, and then we began the arduous process of trying to get a diagnosis for Henry, I became slowly and more overwhelmed.  After his diagnosis, I had a crisis of sorts.  It all caught up and came crashing down.  It was at this time that I sought help – and realized and learned in the process, that I needed to ask for help.  (This is a long story and worthy of several posts….)

We ALL need help from time to time.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting a team together to achieve a desired goal.  How about peace of mind?  So…  Henry; and I; will continue to do it “By My Own”, with help.

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I’m Worth It (Part 2)

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Ahhh - the good life!!

Ahhh – the good life!!

It was a dark and stormy Friday… but only over me.  I went to see my nutritionist and AFTER DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT, AND GOING TO BED HUNGRY EVERY NIGHT!!!!, I did not lose ANY weight for the week!  F**k!!!  I have been off sugar, wheat and dairy for 5 weeks now.  I am happy to admit that I feel a hundred times better – the pooch under my belly button feels SO much smaller.  But COME ON!!!!

During that week, I went to spinning class twice, ashtanga yoga three times, and got “walked”* by one of my besties.  OK – I will admit that during that week, I consumed 4 glasses of wine (and okay – one martini – because I was feeling especially cheeky and cocky that night…)  And I don’t even want to tell you how much my alcohol consumption has dropped – but it’s at least by half (if not more….)

Left Brain was working at home that day – I went in to his office to commiserate.  He immediately went into the “you have to look at the long game – think how much better you feel – blah blah blah…”  Of course he’s right – but I just wanted to be pissed off and mad for awhile.  And yes – to have a moment (or a couple of hours) silence, for my dearly departed tolerance for alcohol…

But here’s the good news…. In the past, I would have thrown up my hands and said “F**k it!”  If I’m going to be miserable and deprive myself and still not get results, I might as well do what I want.  Except doing what I wanted led to 30 pounds of misery – and not feeling like myself.  I realize I’m moaning and this is definitely a first world problem.  So – I put my head down, prepared a healthy dinner, and decided that damn it!!  I’m Worth It!  So I will keep trucking along, and do my best and feel better in the morning.  (And I really did feel better in the morning – the scale showed a 2 lb. drop!!!  Go figure….)

* Note to Self:  “Self!  Consider walking with friends who are slower and in worse shape than you…”  Her dog is getting older and didn’t want to do the long jaunt that morning, so I got walked… I should have been wearing a leash!

Please Don’t Make Me Go…..

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I am prepared to bust a commonly held myth today….  Not all women like to shop.  There!  I said it!  In fact, some of us dread it….  Especially when they have to shop for and with their very particular, sensory challenged sons.

So – let’s set the scene.  I tell Henry last week that I will have time to shop with him on Monday for his new bedding for his dorm room, and maybe a couple of new shirts (he doesn’t seem to grasp yet that he won’t have someone doing his laundry twice a week come September…)  I let him know we’ll be going when I return from yoga in the morning – not at 1:30 or 2 p.m. when he rolls out of bed (quite the summer schedule – but let’s not go into that right now…)  So – I go to yoga to try and get into the right frame of mind and stretch out my muscles – try, if you will, to get my shoulders down from around my ears!  I’m trying to breathe into one of my last poses, which after 3 1/2 freaking years of practising, I still can’t do without assistance!!!!  (“Ohm – serenity now,” she thinks as she’s grunting into this pose….)

Marichyasana A (pron. marry-ches-se-na) - and that's not me!

Marichyasana A (pron. marry-ches-se-na) – and that’s not me!

So I get home, get ready and get Henry in the car.  I feel relaxed!  I’m ready for this!  I’m pumped!  We’re going to have some quality mother/son time….  I look over at him — he’s got a huge frown on his face.  Great!  This is going to be the usual torture….  Can’t I just have an outing where we cheerfully pick something out, pay for it, and go home?  Even better with him saying, “Wow Mom!  Thanks!  Really appreciate you taking the time and effort to get me something that I’ll like!”  Nirvana!!  Something to shoot for?

Anyways – that’s not what happened.  At this time of year, finding flannel sheets is damn near impossible….  But that’s what feels nice against his skin….  Christ!  I find a clearance table with amazingly, flannel duvet covers!  Unfortunately, most of them are Christmas themed – I also don’t want him to look like a dork in his dorm….  We find something appropriate – but no go on the sheets.  I want pillow protectors, but all they have are waterproof – does that mean they will make that crinkly sound every time you move your head?  That’s not going to fly!  Jesus!  Can’t anything be easy?!  We try to pay and the little zippy-thing that takes your card isn’t working…  The sales lady has to re-enter everything again on the other side….

We schlep everything to the car and come back to look at shirts.  We start to peruse….  He’s says he’s NOT buying anything that HE DOESN’T LIKE!!!!  (He thinks he’s being discreet….  he’s not….)  We pass the underwear department – “How are you fixed for underwear Henry?”  “I’M FINE!!!!”  You see where this is going….

On the way home, I’m silent.  I’m so pissed off I’m afraid if I say anything, I’ll start shrieking uncontrollably….  I park…  We start talking….  It’s always the same….  When he’s feeling anxious or stressed, he lashes out at me (while I’m trying to do something for him incidentally…)  Knowing this doesn’t help when it’s happening.  It sucks.  My shoulders are somewhere around the crown of my head – I don’t have the energy for more yoga….

News flash….  As I was writing this last paragraph, Henry came into my office, hugged me and told me he was sorry….

Moving from the Kids’ Table!!

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Remember the kids' table?!

Remember the kids’ table?!

The other day in yoga, it felt like my shoulders might be finally opening up after almost 4 years of doing the practise (yes… I am persistent!)  Could this be coincidence?  Certainly there’s something to be said about doing something more or less consistently – it’s going to kick in at some point.  As Left Brain* says – “even the blind squirrel finds the nut once in a while”….  Now before you wonder whether or not he’s still alive after uttering something so incredibly “sensitive” – there is some truth to it.  But I think there’s something deeper here…  (Yes – you are about to get a glimpse into some of my DEEP THOUGHTS – she said in a thundering, low voice….)

My boys have finally finished high school.  Holy crap!  That time flew by!  As other parents of teenagers know, there is an undercurrent of stress, anxiety and worry during this time – it’s all Drugs, Sex & Rock ‘n Roll!!!  It was a lot more fun when we went through it, wasn’t it?  And our kids aren’t exactly reinventing the wheel – even though I was advised once to admit to NOTHING that I might have done (I’m lucky to be alive, frankly….)  As a parent, it’s NO FUN AT ALL!!!!  Brian and I basically curtailed most of our social outings the last 2 years our older son was in high school.  We had to be around to see what was going on – and as an aside – the more you know your kids’ friends, the better (or worse) you’ll feel about how they’re spending their time while out of sight!

It’s also such a huge, scary and exciting time in their lives – they are trying to figure out where and if they want to continue their education – and I wanted to make sure that they had options to do what they wanted to do.  This is not the time to be asleep at the wheel….

So maybe – that new found flexibility in my shoulders is a result of the burden that has been lifted.  We’ve made it through the first 2 legs of a relay race – grade and high school.  There’s at least 2 more legs in the relay – finishing university/college and then dealing with either further education (which seems likely in this economy) or employment in the real world!

I guess you could say – I feel like I’ve graduated from the kids’ table.  I’ve made my way to the adults’ table – and it feels pretty good!  Of course, to get to that table, I also have to prepare, shop, cook and clean up the mess at that table – but it’s all good….

* Left Brain (Brian) says I should include an explanation of this reference – I’ve attached a short YouTube video of Jeanne Robertson, a southern humorist (who is hilarious – honest!!)