“By My Own…” This is a phrase that Henry used regularly when he was a little guy. He couldn’t quite get the phraseology right… I would patiently remind him that it’s, “I can do it on my own,” or the ever popular, “I can do it by myself.” But I’ve gotten used to the By My Own phrase – because he still uses it.
Towards the end of his last semester, he was required to pick his courses for semester 2, all while studying for exams for semester 1. Was he stressed? Uh – yeah!! He is registered with the Center for Students with Disabilities and has an advisor. As well, we connected with his guidance counsellor so that he could discuss his options. So – courses were picked, he studied and wrote his exams.
Fast forward to his return to school. His first week back, he attended one of the selected courses, Chemistry, and decided he didn’t like the class (or the prof, or the vibe or whatever…) So he wanted to drop the course to lighten his load – given that he’s taking two math courses this semester (and math is always a challenge) – this would give him more time to work on math. Great idea… But let’s meet with your guidance counsellor or disability advisor first just to make sure we’re making the right move. He agreed. And then could not get a meeting fast enough before his next Chemistry class to drop the course. Anxiety and a sense of urgency (on his part) started to set in.
But here’s the thing… Certainly, there are many things that we can all do on our own – but we don’t have to. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help.
On Wednesday morning, my lower back spasmed while doing a yoga pose. And you can bet that I didn’t hesitate to ask for help and call in the professionals as soon as I got home!! But it took me a long time to learn this lesson – it’s NOT a sign of weakness to ask for help!!! For a 2-3 year period when I was looking for a school for Henry, and then we began the arduous process of trying to get a diagnosis for Henry, I became slowly and more overwhelmed. After his diagnosis, I had a crisis of sorts. It all caught up and came crashing down. It was at this time that I sought help – and realized and learned in the process, that I needed to ask for help. (This is a long story and worthy of several posts….)
We ALL need help from time to time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting a team together to achieve a desired goal. How about peace of mind? So… Henry; and I; will continue to do it “By My Own”, with help.