Last weekend, Brian and I travelled to The Shwa (those not in the know call this town, Oshawa). We were delivering Henry’s birthday present to him – he was very specific about what kind of laptop he wanted, and what his technological requirements were… hence, the delay in getting him his birthday present (one month late). As well, he informed me that he needed new running shoes. This, despite the fact, that I asked him this very thing before he left for college. So, it appeared – we would be going on another shopping expedition – and this time, in unfamiliar territory. You know how I love to shop…. (see earlier blog, “Please Don’t Make Me Go….) Even more surprising – Left Brain volunteered to come with us. Don’t tell me he isn’t feeling the Empty Nest Syndrome. The last time that Left Brain and I went to a shopping mall on a Saturday afternoon was NEVER!!! So be it…
Henry tells me that his old running shoes were hurting the back of his heels. I found out, to my horror, that in the meantime, he had been rocking that sporty look of sandals with white socks!
Egad!!! Now I’m all for individuality and not caring about what other people think, but come on!!! This is a definite fashion faux pas!!! He said nobody cares what he wears on his feet – ah… yes, they do – they’re just too nice to say anything to you about it. But I keep this thought to myself.
So off we go to the mall – with the rest of the entire town it seems. There is no parking of course. Left Brain meanders with a bewildered look on his face. I suggest that he drop us off so we can get a head start and then he can catch up. But he’s afraid of getting lost – uh – isn’t that what cell phones are for?! But again, I exercise the restraint of a saint and keep this thought to myself (I picture Left Brain rolling his eyes at this).
So we find the Sportchek quickly – I zero in on the shoes that come in double wide. We settle on a couple of pairs of Merrells. As we’re leaving, Henry is diverted by the Under Armour display. Last Thanksgiving weekend, I noticed that Henry had already gained his Freshman 15… Everything is annoyingly convenient and close on campus – he’s not walking like he used to or climbing the 3 flights of stairs to his room about 10 times a day. He said, “No – I’m just big boned!” OK – well – he’s grown two new bones around his midsection! So he suggests that he buy some shorts and t-shirts. No problem. This is going well!
Next, I’m diverted by the Saxx display*. Let me explain, lest you are unfamiliar with this revolutionary new product. These undergarments for men have compartments that separate the “boys” – so they don’t get all sweaty or mashed in together. Honestly – how guys walk around with those things banging around in their pants is a mystery to me. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything!! So, after a cursory look by Henry, we buy them. (A test run is mandatory – these things are slightly expensive and non-returnable).
* Was going to post a picture of these stupendous underwear, but all of the images featured young men with substantial packages and 6-packs. I could hear “Mrs. Robinson” playing in the background – decided to pass…