Recently, a friend of mine posted something from the ladies that bring you “Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid!” I reposted on my timeline, but I thought it required a little more editorializing here…
“With Hallowe’en upon us, please keep in mind, a lot of little people will be visiting your home. Be accepting. The child who is grabbing more than one piece of candy may have poor fine motor skills. The child who takes forever to pick out one piece of candy may have motor planning issues. The child who does not say trick-or-treat or say thank you may be non-verbal. The child who looks disappointed when they see your bowl might have an allergy. The child who isn’t wearing a costume at all might have a sensory issue (SPD) or autism. Be nice. Be patient. It’s everyone’s Hallowe’en.”
I have personal experience with all of these “syndromes” above. #1 son is allergic to peanuts. He never looked disappointed with the offerings he received, but he did later on in the night when I would pick over his haul and take out all of the offending candy. (Later, after the kids went to bed, Left Brain and I would pig out on Reese’s peanut butter cups!) Henry, is as you know, autistic. The whole trick-or-treat thing confused him a little – all he liked was suckers. But the concept of dressing up?!!! Giddy up! LOVED IT!!!! I was once asked by one of the preschool teachers to please not let him come to school in a costume – because the other kids might want to dress up too! HUH?! This is preschool! Who gives a s**t?! And let’s be honest… don’t we all secretly want to wear a cape out in public once in a while?*
Great friends of mine have a daughter who has CP – you couldn’t know a sweeter child. She obviously has fine motor skills issues – and she can have as much candy from my bowl as she wants! Her disability is immediately apparent – both of my sons’ are not – don’t assume you know what’s going on. My children are not spoiled or ill behaved – nor am I an indulgent parent who lets their kids do whatever they want (at least not most of the time….)
As the quote states beautifully above, please be patient and kind. Because these kids are doing the best that they can – and so are their parents. Everybody deserves to experience the joy of dressing up and eating so much candy that you want to puke!!
* What would your secret super power be? My sister can stick her stomach so far out she looks 12 months pregnant! (She’ll be so pleased I decided to share that). I’m not sure what mine is – this might keep me awake tonight!