Happy Thanksgiving Canada!!
It’s Thanksgiving in Canada – today is turkey day for our family. It is a time of giving thanks for the harvest traditionally. For me, it is a time to give thanks for all that I have. And it is my favourite time of year, bar none. I love the colours, the temperature, the food, the feeling of new beginnings that it engenders with the beginning of another school year.
What am I most thankful for today? Of course, my 3 boys (that includes the big one too, of course!) And with Henry’s recent struggles, I am thankful that what Left Brain and I have been telling our boys forever actually sunk in. No problem is too big that we can’t solve together. There is nothing that they cannot come to us with. Together, we are a team and we will help them, no matter what.
When Henry was in trouble, he came to us. Instead of muddling through on his own for whatever reason, he came to us. So today – that’s what I will be giving thanks for.
“Mom?” His voice is shaking – I know he’s crying – or trying really hard not to. “What’s up bud?”
It’s 6 a.m. – I’ve been up for an hour and a half. It’s too early to put out the garbage – I’ll wake up the neighbours with the rumble of the bins. I’m trying not to touch the side of my mouth or the inside of my nose – I have cold sores brewing. How am I doing otherwise? Just peachy…
We’ve gone from a nervous start (at university), to dropping a few courses to lighten the load, to considering dropping out for the semester. Left Brain and I have had several visits for discussions with Henry about his options. I’ve had many more visits with advisors and counsellors to look at alternatives.
Henry was so proud and excited when he started school (was it really just 3 weeks ago?) Then he started doubting himself… Could he do it? Did he make a mistake? Could he handle the load?
Then a Chemistry Lab with an impatient Teaching Assistant, who got mad at him for asking questions (!!!) How does a teacher get mad at a student for asking questions???!!! Isn’t that what we tell our kids to do when they don’t understand something? Isn’t that what teachers are there to do? Teach?!
So… now we’re trying to figure out how Henry can stay at school – because he loves being independent… But he’d have to stay in class – and as he said the other day… “How long are you going to make me suffer through this?” We know we can switch to something else for January – but what do we do in the meantime?
So… we are trying to avert a nervous breakdown in our son. And give him options to make him feel confident and excited again.
And who’s preventing my breakdown, you might ask? Thank God for Left Brain….
The stuff – before it gets donated….
This can conjure all sorts of images – but for me – it feels like new beginnings. And it’s a pretty powerful feeling saying goodbye to fat pants (and shirts, and shorts, and golf clothes that I never felt good in….) So – what makes the cut and what doesn’t? Well obviously – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! Meaning – if it still looks good and makes me feel pretty – then it stays. But otherwise – be brutal!!! If it’s just okay – if you can’t bear to get rid of it because there’s nothing wrong with it (other than the fact that you never felt good in it, or it doesn’t look that
great); then get rid of it!! There are others who will enjoy it.
When I was a kid, right before school began again in September, my mother made us all do a “spring” cleaning of our desks, bureaus and closets. My sister went in her room, closed the door, and immediately went to sleep. I, of course, being the diligent daughter, painstakingly went through everything. Could this be my OCD at work? Definitely another characteristic I share with my mother. It makes me feel GREAT to get rid of stuff – detritus – junk – crap. Whatever you call it – it feels good.
Now while I was going through this process, Left Brain was observing with some trepidation. He comes from stockpilers – he’s one of those people who have stacks everywhere in their office, but miraculously know where everything is. Or, at least, that’s what he tells me. He finally issued this statement…. “You can throw out all my s–t, as long as I can stay…” And his golf clubs of course. Can’t be messing with the equipment graveyard. There’s any one of 6 putters to choose from…
But I’ll give him credit – he wholeheartedly got into the act and got rid of a bunch of worn out, sad looking items in his wardrobe. He even went through his office and discarded some of the piles.
The golf clubs remain… Oh – and he’s still here too!!